The Kitten Chronicles

Mango

Meet Mango. That's the name that the children who live next door to me bestowed on the beast of a kitten that I adopted as a four-week old in mid May from the Bradshaw Animal Shelter in Sacramento County. He may look cute. He is cute. But, Mango serves a far more important purpose than just pure orange kitten cuteness. Mango is my new garden enforcer.

The Sacramento County Shelter likes prospective kitten owners to fill out a lot of paperwork before any adoption can take place. I clearly remember one question that the Bradshaw Shelter posed: "What do you expect your new kitten to do?" I nearly put down something snarky like "croon like Frank Sinatra," but I had second thoughts. I just put down the following: "be a typical kitten."

Bandit and Mango

In all honesty? I adopted Mango for a reason. The first was to become a lifelong pal to the Border Collie named Bandit. The same neighborhood children who named Mango were called upon to name the beast I brought home from the same Bradshaw Shelter in July of last year. But, Bandit needed a buddy. Bandit got a buddy. It worked. When the two aren't trying to bite each other to pieces in a never-ending play session, they are curled up in the most ridiculously heart-rendering pose you will ever witness.

They are my new Frick and Frack.

The second reason why I adopted Mango was out of pure garden frustration. An army of rats, opossums, skunks, birds, and other wildlife regularly assaulted the large gardens that I planted the previous two years. The large heirloom tomato crops were chewed up and eaten. Every kernel of Golden Bantam corn was stripped away and consumed. The California Wonder Bell Peppers were hauled off and spirited away. My nightly garden raiders even developed a taste for Yellow Crookneck Squash!

Garden in July

But if this wasn't bad enough? It didn't stop there. The 101st Airborne Rat Army that dropped in every night weren't just satisfied with stealing every last heirloom tomato. They didn't stop until they had consumed large portions of the plants themselves. Which should be poisonous to them. Unfortunately, these rats seem to be immune to anything in the deadly Nightshade family.

I've faced raids by rats in the past. In my North Natomas gardens they would drop in from time to time to filch a tomato or a mandarin. They might have even drilled a hole into a watermelon. But that damage was minor. I could live with one or two missing tomatoes. I could lose one watermelon or cantaloupe and "be one with nature."

But the garden raids that started two years ago were like nothing I had ever witnessed or experienced before. I had never before lost an entire crop of Brandywine tomatoes. Watching 60-70 Lemon Boy tomatoes suddenly vanish in the space of a week was simply too much to bear.

Tiny Kitten

Those big, giant, old-fashioned rat snap traps were not the solution. Sure, I might get five or six of them. But that didn't stop the dozens that came over the fences every night. Rat poison wasn't an option. That will just kill anything and everything that eats a poisoned rat. Besides, given a choice between rat poison and a vine-ripened Mortgage Lifter tomato, the rat is always going to choose the Mortgage Lifter.

Rats aren't stupid. They are, however, destructive.

Enter Mango. Stage right. I didn't really have high hopes. After all, the boy I had adopted was just a kitten. How is a small kitten going to stop a big and nasty rat? Or, more to the point, the 101st Airborne Rat Army? These are big, nasty, mean and hungry creatures. Will a kitten really stop them? A tiny orange ball of fluff?

Garden Enforcer at Work

That answer, so far, is yes he will. Yes, he has. But the most important test is yet to come.

Mango's education as a garden enforcer started with small prey. My boy began to haul small bugs into the house. Much to my horror, I realized those small bugs were, in fact, cockroaches. There's nothing quite like the feeling of dread that washes over you when the kitten hauls in a big, fat, fast cockroach and then drops it on the carpet.

Cockroaches run very fast. They head for the nearest dark crevice of safety, where they can set up a new home and produce lots of other cockroaches. That's what these bugs intended to do. Unfortunately, none of them were fast enough. Just before they could reach any measure of safety, Mango would catch them, flip them in the air, pick them up, bite them and start the entire play process all over again. When the roach stopped moving, he ate it. Every last bit of it. Munch, munch, munch.

You and I like popcorn, right? Perhaps a crunchy bell pepper? Tree-ripened fruit perhaps? My cat likes cockroaches. A lot. Deal with it. When he decimated the cockroach population in my yard, he took his hunt to the next door neighbor's house. The neighbor did not complain. Not one iota.

Squash Plant Patrol

I didn't adopt Mango to kill rats. I know this will probably happen at some point, but that wasn't my intention. My hope was he would scare them out of his yard. This is exactly what has happened. I can hear the squeals of terror that come at night when he surprises one. The next sound I hear is that of a rat scurrying over the fence to safety. That's fine with me. He's scaring the rats. He also chased a baby opossum into another yard. Perfect.

But, the biggest test is yet to come. The Garden Enforcer is doing his job, so far. However, the main crop of heirloom tomatoes has yet to ripen. While Mango has already prevented many raids from taking place, the real test will come in August, September and October.

Zero Damage

But, if you were to ask, my answer is "so far, so good." I'm harvesting vine-ripened tomatoes. I'm harvesting perfect Yellow Crookneck Squash. Garden peppers of all shapes and sizes are turning red and haven't been molested. Compared to what took place the previous two summers, the change has been dramatic.

But, will it last? Stay tuned. The Kitten Chronicles, featuring Mango the Garden Enforcer, will continue.

Fence Post Onions!

Fence Post Onions!

What's this you say? You can actually grow onions on an ordinary fence post? A stick of wood? A perpendicular onion crop? Bunions on a barricade? Shallots on a shield? Of course you can! Would I lie to you?

Stay tuned for the book! "101 Easy and Simple Steps to Grow Onions on Fence Posts." Which would be a big waste of money. Although I have written a book, it's not about growing onions on fence posts. You cannot grow onions on fence posts. Yes, I am lying to you. Despite the visual evidence presented to your immediate right, I did not grow onions on a fence post.

Yes, I did grow onions. No, I did not grow them on a fence post or any other type of wood. However, the onions pictured on that fence post are, in fact, the onions that I set into the ground as young plants on a cold and dark day last February.

2022 Onion Crop

That said? Ye olde fence post is serving a valiant purpose. Besides it's primary function to keep garden-thieving rats out of the garden, it's also a great spot for CURING onions. That's exactly what is taking place right now, at this very moment. My fantastically large onion harvest (featuring red, yellow and white onions) has entered the "cure" stage following this weekend's harvest.

What is The Cure? It's an English rock band. But this isn't the cure you're looking for, nor is it the process I'm describing.

Curing is the process that takes place AFTER the onion crop is harvested. It's a period that can last for as long as two to four weeks and the end result is an onion crop and harvest that will last for months without spoiling. Onions that haven't been properly cured still taste fine. But, even after cooking, they can also be a bit rubbery. I know this from experience. I used two of these small onions in last night's garden soup creation. Even after simmering them for 30-minutes, they were still a tad rubbery.

Enormous Onion

But they still tasted great! Plus, they will taste even better after they've cured in our hot California summer weather for a month or two. That's the nice thing about onions. I can leave them right where they are and they will last until the next crop is planted.

The process of curing dries the onions out a bit. The skins that make up an onion change during this process and get a bit tougher. The sugar in a home-grown onion gets a tad sweeter. The longer these onions sit and cure, the better they get. These are all good results.

There are roughly 140 onions in this year's harvest. Am I going to eat 140 onions? Heavens, NO! That's what neighbors are for. Fortunately, I'm blessed to live around a number of families who all share one thing in common. They all love onions.

Rat Hunter Inspection

Thank goodness they all love Yellow Crookneck Squash as well, otherwise I'd be in trouble. They are all getting squash at the moment. Soon, they will all get onions. Tomatoes, peppers, potatoes and bush beans will soon follow. I keep my neighbors well stocked with fresh produce. I kind of like this role.

This crop of onions is the end result after planting one or two Intermediate Day Sampler packs provided by Dixondale Farms in Texas. These packs arrive as small starter plants, maybe two to three inches in length. They are planted in early to mid February. Once planted, they grow like gangbusters. Or, onions. By early to mid July, it's time to harvest.

I never really did experience a tremendous amount of success with growing onions until I finally followed the advice of others and turned to Dixondale Farms. The fact that this one operation has been providing onion plant starters to backyard growers large and small since 1913 should be enough to tell you that they are doing something right. If the act of growing onions is an art form, they are the American version of a da Vinci or Van Gogh.

Onions Will Make Him Cry

It's a fairly simple task, actually. Just use the Dixondale Farms map to determine if you live in an area designated for Long Day, Intermediate Day or Short Day Onions and place the appropriate order for the area of the country you call home.

How good are these onions? Very good. So good that they just might convince Robert Smith that he needs to do a rewrite on one of the key songs that made him famous.

The Most Interesting Tomato Plant of The Month! JULY

Streaky Mystery Tomato

Grow Tomatoes My Friends...

The most interesting tomato plant growing in the garden during the month of July has absolutely nothing to do with the famous Dos Equis beer advertising campaign. Except that is interesting for one very specific reason: I have exactly no idea what this tomato variety is, nor the type of tomato it will deliver. This plant and the tomatoes on it is pictured to your immediate right. Notice those streaks? That is what makes it interesting.

I can guess, from looking at pictures of tomatoes, and I think I've got it figured out. But, until the tomatoes on this plant reach a stage to where they actually ripen, the true identity will be unknown. This is the result from an accident involving numerous tomato starter plants that were knocked askew during a home remodeling project. As a result, the starter plants that my tomato growing friend delivered earlier this year came with a giant question mark.

Nels Christensen-USS Kitty Hawk

I know it would be convenient to blame this little problem on the friend who provided the vast majority of my garden starter plants this year. But, seriously, you can't blame Nels Christensen for this problem. That's Nels pictured to the left. Forgive the blurry image if you will. It was taken some time ago, while Nels was serving his country onboard the USS Kitty Hawk (CV-63) supercarrier during the Vietnam War. Nels survived the conflict, came home and now provides starter plants for my Citrus Heights vegetable garden.

But this little garden starter plant mixup was not his fault. Even if it was, you can forgive a guy who served his country in the Gulf of Tonkin.

As a result of the tomato starter plant mishap that took place earlier this year, I really do not have any idea of what is growing in the garden this July. I can tell you the garden is home to 22 tomato plants. But that's about it. The tomatoes that these 22-plants hold, and they are holding quite a bit this year, are an absolute mystery.

Interesting Plant of the Month

In some strange way, this makes gardening a bit more fun. I may ask Nels to perform another remodeling project, and suffer through another accident, at his house next spring.

This particular plant is developing new tomatoes at a rather rapid clip. The way they are clustered together would lead me to believe that this could possibly be a cherry tomato variety. Not just any cherry tomato variety, but something rather special. How many cherry tomato varieties develop streaks? As someone who has grown a vast number of cherry varieties, I can tell you from experience that the answer is: Not Many.

It is true that cherry tomato varieties come in a vast number of shapes, sizes and colors. Although I'm partial to a variety called Black Cherry, that doesn't mean I won't grow anything else. My summer vegetable gardens have been home to a great many cherry varieties. There is no greater joy in life than harvesting a late summer bowl of vine-ripened cherry tomatoes. A bowl of that late season color is striking to say the least. These cherry tomato types are great for snacking. It's probably one of the healthiest summer snacks you could choose.

Interesting Stripes

While the identities of the plants that I was provided with this year are unknown, the news isn't exactly all bad. The seed list that my garden friend created survived this horrible early season accident. That list gives me something to check. Thanks to Google images, numerous pictures of each variety on this seed list do pop up. Nels and I have deduced that the Most Interesting Tomato Plant for the month of July could be one be one of two choices: Patty's Striped Beefsteak OR the Black Strawberry Tomato from Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds.

While I would be absolutely thrilled to report that one single tomato plant in my garden has developed 50-75 beefsteak tomatoes so far, and appears ready to develop far more, my guess is this isn't a beefsteak variety. A check with the Baker Creek Seed website however, provides photos that indicate my "most interesting tomato plant of the month" is, in fact, the Black Strawberry.

This isn't a horrible development, by the way. Not by a longshot. If you were to believe, or buy into, the marketing language from our friends at Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds, the Black Strawberry produces a lip-smacking result: "A bowl full resembles a luminous and luxurious bunch of gems, and indeed the flavor is decadent and indulgent, with perfectly sweet and tart balanced flavor!"

From this colorful language I guess one could infer that this is a good cherry tomato.

Customer reviews, however, are a bit more honest. I must admit, those reviews aren't half bad. Of the 18 people who have taken the time out of their day to review the product, most indicate that it's a keeper. Jill from San Diego wrote the following: "Not only are they beautiful but they are good! They have a deep, complex flavor and are better when they are soft and the bottoms turn red."

The Most Interesting Tomato Plant of the Month (July Edition) has grown to a height of five feet so far, which means it's growing faster than other plants in this year's garden. It's developed an extraordinary amount of fruit so far, and seems destined to develop a lot more as the summer moves forward. Which means, hopefully, a large bowl or two of cherry tomato varieties in my kitchen as the summer growing season moves forward.

Grow Tomatoes, My Friends.