Tomato Plant of the Month! June Edition!

DYING Tomato Plant

The summer of 2023 has arrived. Grow tomatoes, my friends. Although this represents the "plant of the month" that is growing in the yard of the Gullible Gardener, this is nothing to celebrate. Because, as you might notice to your immediate right, this tomato plant is DYING.

DYING? Wait! Are you sure? The Gullible Gardener doesn't grow or plant tomato plants that DIE. Something ain't quite right here. The Gullible Gardener provides advice to other, younger gardeners, who are killing off plants left and right. The Gullible Gardener does not suffer this misfortune.

The Gullible Gardener learned how to garden from the likes of Farmer Fred Hoffman! He drank in the knowledge provided by nursery owners such as Don Shor at Redwood Barn Nursery in Davis and Angela Pratt of Digging Bliss and Plant Foundry Nursery in Sacramento! Feats of the Gullible Gardener have been highlighted and lauded by the likes of former Sacramento Bee Garden Editors and writers by the names of Dan Vierra, Pat Rubin and Debbie Arrington!

Healthy Tomato Plants!

This is what the tomato garden of the Gullible Gardener should look like! Green! Lush! Healthy! Loaded with tomatoes! The Gullible Gardener does not suffer disasters like this! Those are reserved for "the others." Yet, the photos do not lie. The tomato plant labeled as "Chef's Choice Bi-Color Hybrid" is kicking the proverbial tomato bucket. How on God's Green Earth could this happen to someone with a mouth as big as the Gullible Gardener?

Am I bummed? Not just bummed! More like completely frazzled! Beside myself! I don't kill tomato plants. Ever. Well, that is somewhat of a lie. At one time I would kill my fair share of them. A result that normally took place after I tried something extremely stupid. But, I stopped doing that years ago. Well, kind of.

Tomatoes I Will Never Taste

I decided to write about this rather unfortunate experience after looking some distressing news from another long-time gardener. She is dealing with her own garden maladies at the moment. I know exactly how this gardener feels. This just does not happen to us! To others? Yes! To us? Absolutely NOT! Life ain't fair.

I could ask for help and advice on a Facebook Gardening forum that I troll regularly. But that's an exercise in futility. It will invite some rather odd and conflicting advice. Some of those helpful suggestions are sure to include the following:

-Spray it with Epsom Salts!

-Dump some fertlizer on it!

-Spray it with Lysol!

-Liquid Viagra!

-Dawn dish soap and table scraps!

Pass. I do have some suspicions on why this might be taking place. I have noticed that Bandit the Border Collie has taken quite the liking to this plant and has demonstrated that love by "watering it" perhaps a little too often. Before you can utter the two words of "that's disgusting," I'd much rather he choose the tomato plant instead of the side of my bed.

Bandit the Border Collie

So, I did subject this dying plant to a bit of drip therapy from the garden hose last night. About six hours worth of a slow drip. I was hoping that might lead to some improvement. Alas, it's still acting like an unhappy limp noodle. An unhappy limp noodle, I might add, that is positively LOADED with early production. I like to count the tomatoes forming up on my tomato plants because I'm certifiably insane.

So, you might have noticed that the posting for the June Edition of the "Tomato Plant of the Month" is two days late. That could be it to, I suppose. I'm two days late and multiple brain cells short. But, it just goes to show that garden maladies can strike at any place and any time. Even a garden goober who writes under the pen name of the Gullible Gardener.